Feisty Girl

Disclaimer: Some names have been altered for confidentiality reasons ;).

She seems to have this uncanny ability to sense big egos simmering under otherwise amiable personas especially amongst the officers of the congregations she passes through. Sweet little innocent girl that she is somehow inevitably collides with one of them :). Throughout her journeys she must have encountered 4 such officers so certainly there is not a whole lot of them but they do exist, unfortunately. The first encounter was somewhat distressing and shocking. She did not grow up in an argumentative household. Her parents never argued to her mom's credit; her mother never once raising her tone of voice. She grew up having utmost respect to all of her elders especially Church officers. She expected them to be humble, caring and rational. So when she had that first argument with a deacon over a silly matter she felt somewhat guilty. Was she the one out of line? If there's anything that ticks off this girl, it is the inability of those with big egos to admit that they have made a mistake. A deaconess told her to be patient and let the offensive behavior go. She told her that it's God who placed them in these offices, God must still find something good in them so they remain in their duties. She completely agreed, later on finding that other brethren had issues with this particular deacon. She felt better knowing she is not the only one concerned about this deacon's behavior and character. Much much later this deacon, and big ego #2 would involuntarily step down from their duties. Big ego #3 eventually voluntarily stepped down from his duty as well.

So this is the story of big ego #4. Again the issue is really rather silly. They were in the officer's caucus last Thursday night. She had told the minister before the worship service that she's done with her classroom work so she can really be 100% involved with all the activities. In fact all day she's been thinking about the logistics of her proposed strawberry picking activity for the children. She called the farm in Starlight, Indiana and had asked for brochures. She outlined the other fun things that they can do there. She was really excited to share and promote the activity with the parents by talking to them personally. The minister asked her to start staying for the leadership caucus, she's supposed to stay every week but she had requested to be excused before because of school. So during the caucus, she talked about the planned activity with the other 4 attendees. Mr. Big Ego #4 is the Buklod president (the organization for the married brethren), he is in charge of the July 4th picnic. He wanted to make a poster to promote the picnic and he told her to make one for the strawberry picking. She said she doesn't want to do one, she'd much rather talk to the parents individually and give them brochures. The minister said that is fine. But Mr. Big Ego somehow took her refusal personally and questioned her right to say no. This really annoyed feisty girl. And when she gets annoyed she tends to speak in rapid fire English and to some Filipinos speaking in straight English can somehow come across as cold and arrogant. She was making the point that there are different ways that the activity can be promoted. If she doesn't want to do a poster that should be perfectly fine. She couldn't help but mention that she has a lengthy leadership experience on this sort of event planning from her previous congregations. This is one of the strengths given her, she knows how this can be successful, she's very good at this, thank you very much! The minister agreed with her that she doesn't have to do the poster if she doesn't want to but this did not sit well with Mr. Big Ego. He was so upset with this silly thing that he actually walked out of the meeting. And the ironic thing is the lesson that night was about humility and meekness. His brother who is one of the head deacons apologized to her. The minister said not to worry about him since he is having some personal issues. She said that somehow unwittingly her gloves come on when faced with irrational behavior.

But the gloves are officially retiring, feisty girl is getting too old for this. (Besides she always wins anyway by total knockout so it's no fun ;)). The mature question that she asks herself -- what is it exactly again that she is winning? The backstory on that brother is that he is newly baptized within the last 3 years. Maybe instead of saying an outright no she could have explained herself and said that she thinks the poster is a great idea but she is not the artistic type so she is not able to do this. Maybe when he started to get agitated, she should have taken the high road and said that she did not mean to upset him personally. It was just so tempting, his big ego seemed begging to be crushed. But the sad thing is, he and his family didn't come to the worship service today. No one is the enemy here. We're supposed to edify one another. We're supposed to be living stones being built up as a spiritual house. Some might say that feisty girl is just being used as an instrument to "reveal" (maghayag) proud hearts. She's not sure if she wants that. The reason she enjoys planning these sorts of activities is that they are good ways to enhance the love of the brotherhood. As she thinks about the love of the brotherhood, she'll leave you with quite possibly her favorite passage...

I Corinthians 13:4-8
Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.