laborettes and the lone ranger

at ob/gyn orientation we were told that we should introduce ourselves to the "laborettes" (women in labor) as early as we can. we wouldn't want to be "the lone ranger" (anonymous masked person) appearing unannounced at the delivery party. that was pretty funny to me at 7 in the morning :). Hi-yo silver, away!

tornado warning

a tornado is supposed to be heading our way as i write this. tornado in january! our lights are flickering.

the burglars strike back

i guess since my neighbors know that i am not at home, they have decided to come finish the house off. the broken computer is gone. my printer is gone. my 5-in-one printer/fax/copier/scanner/phone is gone. my modem and wireless router are gone. they even took my diagnostic set! and daddy, remember that sack suitcase we got for my trip over here? they took that, too. well, looking at the bright side, i now have less excess baggage :). this must be the year of traveling through life very lightly.

fortune cookie

"You will be spending time outdoors, in the mountains, near water."

Earlier today, between the mall food court and the theater playing 'Juno', I opened my fortune cookie. I asked out aloud where in Indiana can I find mountains. My friend reminded me that I am going to Guatemala. Oh yeah, how can I forget?

I also got to see my classmates at the annual talent show at school today. (By the way, Mr. OC, one of them was the third-year on your team in Wishard last June :). She gave birth in September.) It is always nice to catch up with good friends.

double standard

i love it that my mom and i can talk about anything under the sun. i don't know if it's our own way of compensating for not seeing each other more often. question du jour: is it ok if the guy already has "experience"? a part of me wanted to hear a resounding no but she doesn't think it's a big issue. i've heard from others that it's actually "better" if the guy has experience. yes, i've been called a prude. i presumed that it was meant to be an insult but i don't remember feeling offended.

brokeback guy

what a way to leave this world.. so sad. maybe high-profile cases such as this make us more attentive to friends and family who might be spiraling down. let's all hug a friend!

unexpected move

i'm here at a sandwich and soup place close to my school. they have free wi-fi here. i have a test this friday so i'm trying to get some studying done. i got a little sidetracked by the other course requirements i needed to finish up. i just finished all of them so i'll attempt some studying now.

so in about a couple of hours, i'll be moving to my new place. totally not what i expected when i woke up this morning. i went to the guy's house earlier today and handed him my check. he seems nice. as it turned out, he has apparently seen me around the hospital. his place is immaculate. he told me to be careful about his expensive pots and pans. i said, "no worries, i don't cook!". ;)

these old pipes

my pipes burst! so i looked into craigslist for temporary housing. i didn't want to fix the pipes since i don't have heat anyway. so i thought i should go live somewhere else until it gets warmer. i found this guy looking for a 2nd roommate charging $450 and it includes everything. it would be an interesting month.

no school today

i'm still up since tomorrow, i mean, today is a holiday. truth be told, for the longest time i didn't know that martin luther king is different from martin luther. sad but really true. we didn't have the internet way back when. now you can pretty much google anything. i really appreciate having information at my fingertips. i google random people, places, events, etc. a little travel update, i'm planning on going to england and germany in may so i'll be googling those places next. i may have found a good travel companion :). so if things work out i would not be traveling solo for a change. imagine that!

online dating

there seems to be something unromantic about it. imagine your grandchildren asking you how you met grandpa. ummm, online matching service :). i'd much rather say that i met him on the plane going somewhere exotic ;).

but by the numbers in the last few years:

1 cousin in England who met her husband online
2 high school classmates happily married to their online match(Phoenix and Australia)
1 high school classmate almost married to someone she met online (Philadelphia)
1 medical school classmate who met his wife online
1 medical school classmate who is engaged to someone he met online
1 medical assistant i worked with in one of the clinics who met her fiance online

pretty good odds, huh?

sorry mom, i still can't do it :).
it's quite tempting though whenever i get a notice that someone is interested. i get to see their profile and all but i would have to be a paying member before i can actually read their emails and be able to communicate with them. maybe they'll have a promo one day for the ladies that they don't have to pay. 1 month costs 34.99. i don't think so! actually even if it were free, that's ok. i'm just looking forward to the next plane ride ;).

is timing really everything?

episode 38.

carrie types on her laptop. i'm now typing on my laptop. life imitating art? ;)
some quotes from the show:

Carrie: Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.

Miranda: It's amazing. In a courtroom, reasonable doubt can get you off for murder. In an engagement, it makes you feel like a bad person.

Samantha: From my experience, honey, if he seems too good to be true—he probably is.

Charlotte (drunk): I'm nice. I'm pretty, and smart! I'm a catch!

Suicide

I am on my Psychiatry rotation so we always have to ask our patients if they have thoughts of harming themselves. One of my patients said yes today. A friend was just telling me that she was devastated when one of her co-fellows took his own life last year after getting kicked out of their program. She was asking herself whether she would have missed the signs if he was her own patient. It is easy to imagine that when we ourselves are just trying to survive the demands of our professional and personal life, it becomes very difficult to notice when someone is desperately in need of our help. Yesterday, the mother of a former medical student here spoke to us and shared the story of her son who committed suicide when he was a third-year. He was just like us in many ways. At the AA meeting that I attended last night, there was an announcement that one of their own took his life over the weekend. The sadness in the room was palpable. There were probably a number of them asking if they could have done something for him.

The beginning of Canto XIII of Dante's Inferno goes:

The leaves not green, earth-hued;
The boughs not smooth,
knotted and crooked-forked;
No fruit, but poisoned thorns.

On Being a "Girl"

At Mount Holyoke, we were quick to point out that Mount Holyoke is not a "girl's school" but a women's college. Just hearing the word girl made us cringe. When I turned 18 towards the end of my sophomore year, I proudly announced that I was no longer a girl but a woman. I remember this brother from Boston who I had a little crush on. He was 10 years my senior, very kind and handsome guy, just graduated then from Harvard Law School. He looked at me funny and asked with a smile, "What exactly do you mean?" I said, "I am an adult now!".

But somewhere along the way, some of my past posts are good evidence, I somehow reverted to calling myself a "girl". Hmmmm.. Is it a subconscious need for me to fit in amongst my medical school peers? I just got this group email from a friend that began as "hey girls!". I began my previous email to them with "hey ladies!" A "girl" just sound so young, dependent, naive and maybe even unsure of herself. A woman seems to sound more accomplished, more sure of herself and what she wants in life. "I am woman, hear me roar.."

-----

Apparently one of the presidential candidates said that wives should submit to their husbands. One of my classmates was irked that this particular verse was mentioned recently at her Church's service. She said that she couldn't believe that in these modern times this verse is still being read. I didn't say anything. I'm not one to pick and choose which parts of the Bible I would and would not accept. So I wholeheartedly agree that wives should submit to their husbands. Take that with a grain of salt from a single woman ;).

Translations

We got the Holy Supper line-up today. It is always interesting how the hymns get translated, more often than not they are not "literal" translations. Check out the translated titles:

Huwag Biruin ang Pagsamba- Kindly Bless Us Forevermore
Ipinapakiusap- More Than Ever, Lord, I Need You
Huwag Akong Itatakwil- The Meditation of My Heart
Sa Dakila Mong Pag-Ibig- Your Love For Me

Some congregations here still have Tagalog worship services. In Hawaii, I've heard that they even have Ilocano services. In the Southern California area, they have Spanish services. In Central America, at least in Honduras, I was told that they also have Tagalog services in addition to Spanish services. I sent an email to the addresses in the PASUGO before when I was thinking of going to Honduras for a spring break trip. There's one minister who goes to El Salvador, Guatemala and Honduras. The minister in Mexico City goes to Nicaragua. This reminds me to email them again. So how did it happen that we have group worship services in Central America? We even have 3 in Nicaragua. Apparently there are no Filipinos there. I suppose the ministers just went there and started preaching. There must be some Filipinos in Honduras since there is a Tagalog service. I wonder what they do there. Ok, I will email Bro. Juan who is mainly based in El Salvador to also find out the scoop in Guatemala and I'll get back to you. It's really exciting to be a potential part of the growth of the Church there.

sorry..

This is the email I just opened for missing a "required" financial aid meeting:

"Although I understand your need for spiritual connection, I doubt seriously that you had to miss our meeting for church beginning at 5:00 p.m. I am disappointed. In any case, I will send the materials we passed out in the meeting."

I wanted to be mad. But I don't think I have the capacity to be mad. Offended, maybe. I get disappointed sometimes but really, never mad. How can he just assume that I am just blowing off the meeting? Maybe I should have sent him a longer email to explain my situation better before today's meeting. So I said sorry for that, for not informing him sooner. I sent a neutral reply that yes, I sing in the choir and that I need to be at church by 6:00 p.m. I'm not even on campus for my rotation. I even mentioned that on days that I have been on-call on a Thursday or Sunday which happened to me while I was on my Medicine rotation, I drove two hours to attend the Wednesday service in Dayton or the Saturday service in Louisville. This is how much it is important to me.

moshe moshe

we had a japanese patient today. i tried to remember my high school japanese but i blanked out. i did remember daddy saying 'moshe moshe' on the phone. so i asked how do i say hello in japanese.

is it moshe moshe?

it's konichiwa!

oh yeah, how can i forget? moshe moshe is just a phone greeting.

i think daddy and i share the fascination for languages/dialects. i remember that we even used to have the kapampangan bible "ing biblia". :) i've studied bits of japanese, german, norwegian and spanish.

pb had also noticed that daddy and i both like talking to people. we ask them where they are from. we try to link them to people we know. i met a deacon in redwood city who is from san miguel which is apparently right next to san ildefonso. his family's last name is pablo and he mentioned two other last names that start with a b and c. daddy must know some of his relatives.

mental hospital

jingle and i liked to go biking around town. we were both in 5th grade then. i was 10, she was 11. we only had one bike. we just alternated between pedaling and being the passenger. one day we decided to bike through the mental hospital. we've seen the "mental" patients wandering about town. there were always "alerts" when one of them escapes. we were curious to see what's inside the hospital compound. we've heard that at least one movie was filmed inside there, showcasing some historic ruins.

i don't remember being stopped by the guards. i guess everyone is free to visit as they please. the grounds were well-maintained. there were lots of trees and flowers. the rooms that we saw looked like jail cells. there were naked patients holding on to the bars. some of the female patients even got pregnant while there. we were horrified. we got out of there as soon as we can.

the psychiatric hospitals here are way different. for the most part, the patients are treated very well. the staff act more like parents. i'm still trying to figure out my style. i don't want to come across as a parental figure. clearly, i can't be the baby, either. i try to be a friend but that's hard sometimes especially if they act up. so, i try to be the detached caring professional. i try to make sure that all their medical needs are met. i try to make sure that i know their individual story. everyday, i try to be a little less afraid. most of them will not be "healed". but just to be a part of the process that helps them to be a little more functional is enough for me to be excited to come back each day.

zsa zsa zsu

"Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies." -Carrie

december must be a time for romance. two of my classmates just told me today that they got engaged to their respective significant others over december break!

Today's verses

After a vacation, it's always sweet to return to my Sunday school teaching duties. It reaffirms my purpose of being here. It's such a great privilege to be able to teach these young children. I moved to Indianapolis on November 3, 2002 for the specific purpose of being a teacher. We had the first Children's Worship Service that night.

After the worship service in Dayton that morning, I packed all my belongings into my tiny Ford Focus and drove on. I moved to Dayton from Baltimore three months earlier with the intent of staying there and applying to medical schools but God had other plans for me. They only had 6 kids in Dayton when I arrived. The brethren there were just not "productive" :).

That September, one of my high school classmates happened to visit her brother in Indianapolis. We decided to meet up and of course, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to attend the worship service in Indy. It turned out that one boy just turned 4 that week. They were waiting to reach a total of 10 unbaptized kids over 4 before they could request to have a CWS. They said that I was just in time. I immediately said yes to the prospect of moving! I had pending applications to medical schools then and I was establishing Ohio residency. It didn't matter, I figured I'll just move to Indiana and establish residency there. My green card application was still pending anyway. So that's the story on how I ended up in Indianapolis more than 5 years ago. The kids have grown so much since then!

You might think that I move haphazardly about the country :). But really, it's a simple formula. I move whenever I feel I would be more useful in the next place in terms of my Church duties. Heartaches also propel me to the next place. And now that PB is here, the other reason to move is to be closer to family. I'll try to make my way to California. But I wouldn't mind getting detoured. I find that detours make this life very interesting! :)

Hebrews 10:5

Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

John 8:47

"He who belongs to God hears what God says. The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God."

James 1:25

But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.

Psalms 119:143

Trouble and distress have come upon me,
but your commands are my delight.

New Year's Eve pics

Junjun just emailed me some pics..

California weather

My friend just called me to say that a storm moved into the area last night. They had such great weather just a few days ago. It's been raining heavily and the winds are strong. Her power just went out about an hour ago. I just called PB and he said his area is not affected by the power outage.

Here in Indy, after a couple of days of waking up to 4-degree weather, we're on our way to more warmth! We should be in the high 50s by Monday.

New Job

New year, new job! I just picked up a new job today. I know, I know, where will I find the time? :)

So I am trying to remember all the paying jobs I've held so far:

Library Assistant (First job at 15, Philippine Science)
Food Service Worker (Work/Study Mount Holyoke)
Computer Lab Assistant (Mount Holyoke)
Chemistry Grader (MHC)
Genetics Teaching Assistant(MHC)
Research Associate II (Temple Univ)
Laboratory Assistant (Univ of Pennsylvania)
Tagalog Instructor (Univ of Pennsylvania)
Administrative Assistant, Coupon-Passer, etc. (Today's Temporary temp agency)
Graduate Teaching Assistant (Temple Biology)
Dental School File Clerk (Temple)
Editor/Analyst (BIOSIS, Philadelphia)
Service Coordinator (Indiana First Steps)
Medical Informatics Intern (Methodist)
St. Francis Emergency Extern (Indianapolis)

and now...

Radiology Assistant (Methodist Radiology)

a beautiful mind

i saw this movie with sis. gerlyn when i was in baltimore in 2001. russell crowe is probably my favorite actor. he has some temper issues so i'm definitely not head over heels ;). sis. gerlyn now lives in south africa but soon she and her family will be heading to hamburg, germany. so after graduation, i'm thinking i will visit ate bebe and daisy in london and oxford for a week. then i will head to germany and stay for a week. i also have a college friend who now lives in munich. it will give me a chance to remember some german. hopefully, i will get to see at least 5 chapels on that one trip. wanderlust!

"You can tell people things with just your thoughts, right?" I paused for a second. Certainly, there were times when I felt I was communicating with just a look. Sometimes, I think people are saying something with their eyes. I said, "No.. but wouldn't that be nice?". "You know, you can switch with people, too," the patient added.

"Nah.. why would I want to do that?" Now, who do you think has a narcissistic personality? ;)

Politics

Today was my first day at one of the state's psychiatric hospitals. We got a manual that states things like "use a therapeutic voice". "Do not talk about politics, religion or sex". My thoughts on these subjects are fairly simple, actually. Far from provocative, I would say. When it comes to politics, I really admire good governance. I am keenly aware that politics and the economy are intimately entwined. Without good leaders with integrity, it's difficult for a community to flourish.

Our school has a partnership with a Kenyan medical school. Some of my friends are scheduled to go there this year. So I have been following the news regarding the situation there. Some of the violence has erupted exactly in the town where the medical school is. I just saw in the news that our school has decided to temporarily suspend the program due to the political unrest. It's unfortunate how political instability is deterring the good work that is being done over there.

home sweet home

i made it back! i haven't seen our airport so full of people waiting for their luggage. i didn't have to wait long for mine, though. i also easily found my car since i always park near shelter 10. the house is still here. no intruders ;). 10 degrees and falling!! what a cold welcome, isn't it? i was lamenting in cali that it is very cold and it snows in indy. but as i stepped out of the baggage claim area, i felt the city embracing me :). charming light snow was falling and blowing about. pretty powdery snow was on the ground. the stars are out. winter bliss! i did not leave my heart in san francisco, after all. i still heart indy :).

i need to catch some sleep now. my first day of psychiatry is tomorrow. fun times ahead! i'll post pictures later, ok? night, night..