Friendships

I am fascinated by friendships. I try to trace the origin of relationships. When and how did people meet? Did they go to the same school? Were they in the same small group? Do they have a common friend? Do they study in the same place? Are they part of the same school organization? I try to analyze why the friendship works. Do they share the same humor? Are they intellectually matched? What interests do they have in common? Which of their qualities complement? What's the gender distribution of their friends? What does it mean if a woman has more friends of the opposite gender? Is she less of a girlie girl (whatever that means :))? What does it mean if a guy has a lot of female friends? Does it mean that he's a flirt? Or is it more like he just has a general caring personality? Can you stay friends with a single ex who you obviously find attractive but just can't imagine spending the rest of your life with? How does it happen that one thinks there is more to the friendship but the other is oblivious? Should you remain friends with somebody who you suspect is attracted to you but you know you could not possibly date? Or the opposite scenario, do you stay friends with somebody you are attracted to, who couldn't care less about you that way? Why do some friendships remain platonic and others progress to something more? How different are people's definition of what a friendship is?

A friend once told me that she didn't have too many women friends at Church while growing up. She was one of 4 sisters, all beautiful and smart. She realized later that part of it is that she was content hanging out with her sisters. She didn't really see the need of branching out to make new friendships. Some people may also have felt intimidated by "the sisters" who seem to have it all. I told her that I never really had any problem finding my group of friends. For the most part, I was the "average" girl, average looks, average smarts, average boy magnetism ;). Nobody really had any reason to envy me. I am pretty much happy with myself so I never really had any reason to envy anybody. Also, since I have lived apart from my family, I learned to get along with most people. Somebody asked me if I get lonesome. My gut answer was I'm used to being alone. A more appropriate answer probably is that I have been blessed with such rich friendships. I may not be with my nuclear family but I have an extensive Church family who genuinely cares for me. Throughout my journeys I have met and kept fascinating friends. They have all helped me to grow, experience new things, hear different perspectives. So to borrow from a sitcom theme song, to all of you, "thank you for being a friend!" :)