p.s. i just saw this article where they said that ramps needed to be built, boxes for reese to stand on needed to be present and vince even had to go barefoot :). reese and vince
my patient who we had to send to the icu earlier this week came back to the wards last night for comfort care. by some oversight, she didn't come back to our team. last saturday, the last time we were on-call, i admitted her for shortness of breath. she had metastatic stage IV lung cancer. i meant to stop by today to say hello. but i didn't really know what to say. we're on-call again tonight. as i wrote my admission orders and notes for my 2 new patients, i heard wailing in the hallways. i had the sinking feeling it was for her. may she rest in peace...
P.S. So to escape the wailing in the 4th floor, I went back to our team room. Both computers there were in use so I headed to the 5th floor. The door was locked. So I went up one more flight to the 6th floor. A few minutes later, I saw my intern and resident go in one of the patient rooms. I heard more wailing. Another patient has died... The intern was crying too, the team who was taking care of that patient did not mention that he is dying.. One more patient is not doing so well. Yeah, it's one of those nights..
i don't think that i'm the type who would come home and talk about how my day went. i think that i would like to separate my home life from my work life.. does anybody really want to know that one of my patients is dying?? would i want to go through crying as i tell the story and remember how her face looked as i left for the day? i don't think so..
Lockefield resident: "Are you lost?" Me: "No.. I thought I parked my car here."
You see, I now live within walking distance from campus. I'm renting a studio apartment on top of a detached garage owned by a faculty member in our school. Yep, my 10th apartment in 10 months. In case, anyone is counting ;). This residential street is beautifully lined by trees. When I moved last week, the lovely leaves were fiery orange. This week they have a lovely shade of red. Indeed, their colors can rival New England foliage. I've been meaning to walk to school since last week but I've been too lazy. I've been parking in a commercial parking clot close to school. But this week, I thought that I should try to park at my old apartment complex. I was never towed there and I didn't even have a sticker for 2 months. But today, the inevitable happened. I got towed..
I could really be pissed but I'm choosing not to be. Today has been too good of a day for me to spoil. You know how vocabulary can sometimes influence how people perceive you. Today my medical vocabulary was just flowing. I didn't know where the words were coming from, but I thought I sounded pretty well today haha.
So I peacefully walked home. It was a lovely walk. I really should walk everyday. Maybe the dividend of my $160 mistake would be the savings I will get from not ever having a cardiac cath :). There is really peace in solitude... I wonder though if the peace is partly coming from the knowledge that at the end of your brief solitary walks, you know that there would be someone to join you in the rest of your journeys..
one more day until the big test and i can't concentrate.. i hope i can pass it :).
it's 11 AM and i'm still in bed.. what can motivate me to get up today?? i think that i'll go get the triple combination roast pork, soy sauce chicken and BBQ duck for lunch from a local favorite. and i'll also get a tira misu cheesecake. there, that should be enough motivation :).
so, i'm supposed to be studying for my boards: step 2 CK which is scheduled in 9 days!! i'm supposed to be freaking out since i still don't know much. but instead i find myself watching countless wedding videos haha.
this is the background music for one of the wedding pictures slideshows. this is the song currently playing in my head:
"Bless The Broken Road"
I set out on a narrow way many years ago Hoping I would find true love along the broken road But I got lost a time or two Wiped my brow and kept pushing through I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
[Chorus:] Every long lost dream led me to where you are Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars Pointing me on my way into your loving arms This much I know is true That God blessed the broken road That led me straight to you
I think about the years I spent just passing through I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you But you just smile and take my hand You've been there you understand It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true
[Chorus]
Now I'm just rolling home Into my lover's arms This much I know is true That God blessed the broken road That led me straight to you
That God blessed the broken road That led me straight to you.
I'm here at Starbucks enjoying a cup of hot chocolate with whipped cream on top and a cheese Danish.
Last night, I saw Madame Butterfly at the LA Opera. The minute I stepped out in the courtyard, I was enchanted. There was a lovely fountain in the middle. Couples in love, dressed to the nines abounded. 'Twas a lovely night, perfect weather with dark sunset blue skies. A sense of romance was definitely in the air. And yeah, the production did not disappoint, as well :).
I'll leave you a quote from Puccini:
Chi ha vissuto per amore, per amore si mori. (Who has lived for love, dies for love.)
a few minutes before midnight last night, we hurried to master wong's foot clinic in san gabriel valley. it took us about 20 minutes to get there from the hollywood roosevelt hotel where we picked up another friend. it is a not a clinic per se but a foot massage place. i was expecting the kind you normally get when you get a pedicure. but i was pleasantly surprised that for $15 you get a 1 hour full body reflexology massage. totally relaxing!
they asked us where we are from in their broken english. the three of us were the only customers. we actually just caught them as they were about to close. Philippines. Vietnam. Japan. International women of Mount Holyoke :).
we went to a dessert place afterwards and enjoyed a red beans with herb gelatin slush. we didn't get home until half past 3 in the morning. i'm supposed to be studying for my clinical skills exam scheduled for next monday. don't worry, i'll study all day today :).
i attended the teacher's class today. my friends were excited for me to meet the single male teachers. never mind that i am leaving tomorrow haha. these are the "cream of the crop", as they put it. the future ministers, the future leaders of the church. why do i feel that i am being pulled in a totally different direction? the 'ideal guy' in my head never seemed to have found me. someone did find me. i don't know what it means.. i do want somebody to hold me.
with a few more days left here in san francisco, my suitcase has finally arrived! i guess, it didn't want to miss the trip to LA :).
today, i got to visit the outpatient imaging center at china basin. it's very close to the baseball park downtown. i took the opportunity to walk along the bay. the view was simply gorgeous. there were lots of people walking, enjoying the fine mid-70s sunny day.
i finally got the call from motel 6 today. they have shipped my suitcase! because of the delay, they are only charging me $15. so i have volunteered to be a motel 6 endorser :). it's really hard to find a better price. they are everywhere. and of course, the staff is very nice.
for sure, on my drive back to indy, motel 6 can expect my business :).
i was just speaking with a friend who is currently observing ramadan. she mentioned that this period reminds her among other things that she doesn't need much at all. i wonder how is it that the excesses in our lives are not as glaring as it should be.. why is it that it's easier to perceive what is not there?
i think that i may have found my place :). it's really nice to be around so many active brethren. last night, i had dinner with 2 sisters who are also CWS teachers here in daly city. i'm tagging along with one of them today. she will be preaching in the san pablo congregation. every week, the teachers here are assigned in various congregations. that will be so fun. i would love to be able to teach in different places.
so hopefully, in a few months time, i will get a spot here in northern cali. even just for a year. that will be so awesome!
i have forgotten what it is like to commute in a big city. i have been "midwestified". :) but i went in today with an open mind. i had to drive to the BART station. take the BART into San Francisco and then take the MUNI to the UCSF campus. total time was approximately 1.5 hours this morning! tomorrow, it should be half the time since I already know the system.
so far, so good. i feel that i am learning a lot. everyone seems nice. i was kinda expecting that everyone will be intense. but there seems to be quite a nurturing environment. just exactly what i need!
after 4 days of driving, i finally arrived in cali last night!
the lovely santamaria family greeted me warmly. jigo, the youngest of the family, gave up his room for me.
since my travel commenced one day earlier as originally planned, i was able to attend the district's track and field meet earlier today. i took jerika (ate bel's daughter) and lyn-lyn (ate lou's youngest daughter) with me in livermore.
we walked around and i was pleasantly surprised to see a number of familiar faces. i immediately saw ka gaudy and family. gleng competed in the 100 m dash and long jump. gleng even won second place in the long jump event for her age group. there were only 2 contestants :). gemma invited me to the district Kadiwa gathering on the 20th. there will be a special worship service and luncheon for all single brethren in the district. maybe i should start praying to meet somebody haha.
i also saw brethren i originally knew from the boston and philadelphia congregations. i was very excited to finally see bro. bob and sis. sandy after so many years. bro. bob was our minister in boston ('94-'95). he is now the district minister here in northern california. i chatted with his wife for a little bit. i told her of my plans to go to jerusalem after graduation. they were previously assigned in israel and took care of the locales of jerusalem, haifa and tel aviv. she told me that when they first got there, they lived in joppa. remember that jonah went here to find a ship for tarshish instead of nineveh. wouldn't it be great to get to visit biblical lands? i am definitely planning on a taking a dip in the jordan river. she also mentioned that it used to be that the worship service in jerusalem took place in a cave-like structure. it sounded so very first century. but since the jerusalem congregation has grown they had to move to the more touristy area of the city. right now, they worship in a hall above a mcdonald's. it would have been nice to worship in a cave :).
and of course, i also saw PB. he made plans to have dinner with ate mayette and becky on thursday. i met ate mayette in '94 but has not seen her since then. i'm not sure how late i need to stay at the hospital that day but i will also try to meet with them.
so tomorrow, i will start my rotation in ucsf. it should be fun!
I am a member of the Iglesia ni Cristo (Church of Christ) currently attending in the Rochester, NY congregation. I sing in the choir and teach in the Children's Worship Service. I'm a PGY-2 Radiation Oncology resident at Roswell Park Cancer Institute.
