Starting Over

You could say that I have a fertile imagination. I like to anticipate what will happen the next day, the next week, the next month and so forth. My imaginings are usually quite entertaining. But today, I thought maybe I should stop imagining things and just concentrate and enjoy the present. There is no guarantee that my imaginings will ever happen. But the present is here, the present is real. And I'm afraid that if I continue daydreaming my life away, I'm missing the present. So as I go off and enjoy the present moment, I'll have to say goodbye for now to you my very dearest blog readers. It's been great sharing myself with you all!

The Art of Directing

I just got assigned to be our locale's GEM NET (Global Expansion Media Network) representative. Life is hectic as it is but somebody needs to do the task so it's really hard for me to refuse. Here in the US, via satellite, we now get a 24-hour Iglesia ni Cristo TV channel. They need material to air so they have asked all congregations to submit videos. They are also planning to launch a MySpace-like video blog. So my new responsibilities include writing scripts for the videos of our activities, directing "talents" (newscasters/reporters), or even being the one in front of the camera. I also need to shoot videos of the brethren who would like to send videos for the video blog. The Church has provided the questions that needs to be answered. These are questions about faith and Christian life. The idea is that this can be another tool for us to share our faith. The only thing is I don't have a video camera nor do I know anything about video editing hehe. I'm sure I'll learn somehow :).

So, mom, you might see me on TV pretty soon! (One of my mom's dreams is to see one of her children/grandchildren on TV :). Before I left home, she told me to find a blond, blue-eyed boy to be sure that I'll have gorgeous children. The plan is that she'll then have them audition for Philippine TV ;).) Our strawberry picking activity is this Saturday. I'll write the script for our video tomorrow. I don't know if my mom remembers but I wrote a script in 5th grade. I wrote about a modern-day Nativity story. For some weird reason, I remember that the first line was "may bagyong namumuo sa gitnang Luzon" (a storm is brewing over Central Luzon). I remember my mom finding the script hilarious ( it doesn't take much to amuse either of us :)). In high school I wrote a script for a puppet play for an Asian history class. It was a flop. I think the script was so serious my classmates fell asleep :). When I was in Boston, our minister asked me to direct a children's play that he wrote. It was a hit! After college graduation, I moved to Philadelphia, he also happened to be the minister assigned there. He asked me again to direct the play with the kids there. We presented it on New Year's Eve and the parents really loved it. Philadelphia also hosted a Children's Theater Festival in 1999. Each of the 13 or so congregations in the district presented a Bible story. We got assigned the life of Apostle Paul . I was able to find a children's video where I based the script. We have a brother there with real directing experience who directed the play. We both worked together on finding the right auditorium. I oversaw the rehearsals, picked the background music, scouted for costume materials and coordinated with the seamstresses. The event was a huge success. With God's grace more than 1,000 brethren attended the event from all over the northern East Coast. Our little Apostle Paul was so talented . He even made some of the brethren cry with his song and monologue at the end. We designed him a reversible robe. One side was for he was still the mean apostle Paul (Saul). Then after he got called on the road to Damascus, he reversed his robe. It was a powerful scene. Oh yeah, at the time, I was working on my master's degree doing experiments on the chicken embryonic eye. We had an egg incubator. So for a market scene for the play, I let some of the eggs hatch, so we had real chicks running around during the performance! Sometimes I wonder if the 9 years between college and medical school was a waste of precious time. Then I remember all these fun things I got to do :).

Home improvements are hopefully starting this week. I have a very limited budget so I'll probably go real slow. I want to be able to invite people over so they can watch some of the church programs. I've cleared my living room. I've started tearing down the wallpaper. Hopefully painting will be done this week. I've hired one of my neighbors to help me out. I'll try to post some before and after pictures. I think tomorrow I'll go to Lowe's which is a hardware store to pick out some bathroom fixtures. The fun never ends :).

Good Morning!

It's 12:25 a.m. I just got home from a 6 hour shift at the ER after completing an 8-hour exam earlier. I have been up since 5 a.m.! I'm finally done with my Step I exam. I think it went ok so hopefully I passed :). I probably have enough adrenaline in me to stay up until 5 a.m. today but I still have a pediatric GI lecture and Spanish class tomorrow so I better sleep. Who said that life after Step I would be less hectic? Prioritize, prioritize, I tell myself ;).

Sob Stories

Sometimes I make up sob stories. These are true stories but they didn't really make me sob that much. I share the story maybe with a little touch of drama. For example, we have a Family Medicine rotation. To stay in Indianapolis you need to write a letter. I wrote one saying that my house got burglarized recently and I am "afraid" that if I leave for a month, I will get burglarized again. I got an Indianapolis spot! I'm not really afraid to be burglarized again. Maybe I should really be. So maybe my sob story is justified.

Procrastinating...

One of my high school classmates just posted this picture in our yahoogroups. From I-Jade, of the 24 of us who finished high school at Philippine Science, at least 9 of us went into medicine. George will be starting his fellowship in Sports Medicine at Univ of Michigan. Edsel is doing an Infectious Disease fellowship in Cleveland. Lia is now a practicing endocrinologist in Minnesota. I heard Jorge is now in Texas but I haven't talked to him yet so I don't know what he is up to.

I'll be starting my third year clerkships pretty soon. I got my top choice: Pediatric GI. Sweet! I should really be careful what I wish for. Lately, I seem to be getting what I want ;). No complaints here, of course :). During a mentoring dinner I co-organized, I talked briefly with our pediatric GI prof. I mentioned to her that I put down pediatric GI as my top choice. She said that she is actually the professor who will be "in service" that month. I don't know if that's the reason I got the spot. One of the other students in the rotation is probably one of the smartest women in our class. She started medical school at 17! I am really looking forward to the rotation. I am sure that I'll love the kids. I am also sure that I'll learn a lot and get to know interesting people.

Malasezzia furfur

Sorry if the name sounds scary. Sure I know this fungus causes tinea versicolor. We've seen pictures of patchy hypopigmentation in Derm class. In Micro and Path we've talked about its "meatballs and spaghetti" appearance. What I didn't know is that tinea versicolor = anan. One classmate asked me once, "Tinea versicolor is very common in the Philippines, right?" With a blank look I said, "Huh?" He explained that one of his ex-girlfriends is from the Philippines and she has these hypopigmented spots. I thought about it for a second and postulated that he must be talking about "anan". I didn't really know for sure. They always show big patches of hypopigmentation but I remember anan as little white spots. Today, I invited a friend to our Pathology review session. She's an OB/GYN but she still needs to take the boards to practice here. I just mentioned the term tinea versicolor and she said, "oh yeah, anan". She agreed that the picture they show in class is much more severe. I asked her if she can think of other Filipino names for diseases. She reassured me that most diagnoses is given in English. I guess it's good to know that sometimes an appendicitis is just an appendicitis :).

Papayas

I was talking with one of my favorite classmates, Kent, about papayas. He happens to not like them. I told him that there are two kinds of papaya plants: male and female. But I look it up on this site , there are actually three kinds. So if you're curious about papayas, check it out. Maybe Kent just needs to be introduced to the best papaya- the Philippine kind ;).

Feisty Girl

Disclaimer: Some names have been altered for confidentiality reasons ;).

She seems to have this uncanny ability to sense big egos simmering under otherwise amiable personas especially amongst the officers of the congregations she passes through. Sweet little innocent girl that she is somehow inevitably collides with one of them :). Throughout her journeys she must have encountered 4 such officers so certainly there is not a whole lot of them but they do exist, unfortunately. The first encounter was somewhat distressing and shocking. She did not grow up in an argumentative household. Her parents never argued to her mom's credit; her mother never once raising her tone of voice. She grew up having utmost respect to all of her elders especially Church officers. She expected them to be humble, caring and rational. So when she had that first argument with a deacon over a silly matter she felt somewhat guilty. Was she the one out of line? If there's anything that ticks off this girl, it is the inability of those with big egos to admit that they have made a mistake. A deaconess told her to be patient and let the offensive behavior go. She told her that it's God who placed them in these offices, God must still find something good in them so they remain in their duties. She completely agreed, later on finding that other brethren had issues with this particular deacon. She felt better knowing she is not the only one concerned about this deacon's behavior and character. Much much later this deacon, and big ego #2 would involuntarily step down from their duties. Big ego #3 eventually voluntarily stepped down from his duty as well.

So this is the story of big ego #4. Again the issue is really rather silly. They were in the officer's caucus last Thursday night. She had told the minister before the worship service that she's done with her classroom work so she can really be 100% involved with all the activities. In fact all day she's been thinking about the logistics of her proposed strawberry picking activity for the children. She called the farm in Starlight, Indiana and had asked for brochures. She outlined the other fun things that they can do there. She was really excited to share and promote the activity with the parents by talking to them personally. The minister asked her to start staying for the leadership caucus, she's supposed to stay every week but she had requested to be excused before because of school. So during the caucus, she talked about the planned activity with the other 4 attendees. Mr. Big Ego #4 is the Buklod president (the organization for the married brethren), he is in charge of the July 4th picnic. He wanted to make a poster to promote the picnic and he told her to make one for the strawberry picking. She said she doesn't want to do one, she'd much rather talk to the parents individually and give them brochures. The minister said that is fine. But Mr. Big Ego somehow took her refusal personally and questioned her right to say no. This really annoyed feisty girl. And when she gets annoyed she tends to speak in rapid fire English and to some Filipinos speaking in straight English can somehow come across as cold and arrogant. She was making the point that there are different ways that the activity can be promoted. If she doesn't want to do a poster that should be perfectly fine. She couldn't help but mention that she has a lengthy leadership experience on this sort of event planning from her previous congregations. This is one of the strengths given her, she knows how this can be successful, she's very good at this, thank you very much! The minister agreed with her that she doesn't have to do the poster if she doesn't want to but this did not sit well with Mr. Big Ego. He was so upset with this silly thing that he actually walked out of the meeting. And the ironic thing is the lesson that night was about humility and meekness. His brother who is one of the head deacons apologized to her. The minister said not to worry about him since he is having some personal issues. She said that somehow unwittingly her gloves come on when faced with irrational behavior.

But the gloves are officially retiring, feisty girl is getting too old for this. (Besides she always wins anyway by total knockout so it's no fun ;)). The mature question that she asks herself -- what is it exactly again that she is winning? The backstory on that brother is that he is newly baptized within the last 3 years. Maybe instead of saying an outright no she could have explained herself and said that she thinks the poster is a great idea but she is not the artistic type so she is not able to do this. Maybe when he started to get agitated, she should have taken the high road and said that she did not mean to upset him personally. It was just so tempting, his big ego seemed begging to be crushed. But the sad thing is, he and his family didn't come to the worship service today. No one is the enemy here. We're supposed to edify one another. We're supposed to be living stones being built up as a spiritual house. Some might say that feisty girl is just being used as an instrument to "reveal" (maghayag) proud hearts. She's not sure if she wants that. The reason she enjoys planning these sorts of activities is that they are good ways to enhance the love of the brotherhood. As she thinks about the love of the brotherhood, she'll leave you with quite possibly her favorite passage...

I Corinthians 13:4-8
Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

Sayonara Second Year

It's official. I passed all my final exams! I'm now half a doctor hehe. Applause, please :). I was having dinner with some classmates yesterday. We were attending this informational session on residency programs offered by a local hospital. When people asked us what year we were, we weren't quite sure if we'd call ourselves second years or third years. So I finally said we're third years minus the BOARDS. Speaking of the boards, it's kinda hard for me to get motivated still. I pushed back my Step I test date to June 5 so it feels like I have a lot of time but really I don't. Tomorrow I think is the day hardcore studying begins :).

The police were here again. Some punks stole the license plate off of a car a friend has given me. I told my friend that my brother is coming so she just gave me her car that she's not using. It just needs new batteries to run. Sometimes I think that I don't deserve knowing too many nice people :). I just hope that I can be nice to others in return.

Saying "I Love Yous"

So I am sitting here in the library across a guy who apparently got a call from his sister. He ends the call by saying "I love you, sis!". I thought that was kinda sweet and funny at the same time. Our family doesn't really say these words that often. My mom recently started saying it more often to me over the phone. I sort of tease her about it so she eventually stopped. I don't know. Maybe it's just so obvious that we love each other that actually saying it in words is redundant? I guess it is nice to hear once in a while. But to be expected at the end of every phone call- I don't know about that. So I pose a question to my Filipino friends and family- is it just our family who doesn't say "I love yous" to each other that often? Or is it part of our culture that we're just not very verbal with our love for our families? I even tried to think about my past 3 romantic relationships how often I said "I love you" but I can't seem to remember or I have chosen to forget hehe. I do remember the first guy playing his guitar and singing More than Words by Extreme quite often.

A Boy (Girl) Story

Sometimes I imagine conversations in my head. I thought most people did this but a friend pointed out that she only does this for some phone conversations. So before she picks up the phone she rehearses what she would say in her head. As for me, for example, when I want to find out something from a guy, I think of how I would phrase the question. So when the opportunity presents itself, I know exactly what to say.

So for the last 5 months or so, I have stored in my head how I would ask something from this particular guy. I have thought about the direct approach for which I am infamous for ;). But the years have made me more classy and tactful hehe. So it came to me that maybe I should just ask about whether he has brought him to the Philippines. It seems that every time we get to chatting he asks me when was the last time I was home.

So today, I went to our cafeteria around 1:30 p.m. not even thinking about him. Actually, yesterday, I had dragged a classmate there thinking I would see him. He has said before that he eats there every Monday and Thursday. As most of you know, my brain turns into mush everytime I fall for somebody :). So I had deliberately avoided the cafeteria on those days so I would not see him hence not risk failing out of medical school. But yesterday since our final exams are over, I thought it might be safe to talk to him again :). So anyways, as I was paying for my food, I saw a guy in a white coat with that unmistakable walk and hair bounce walk by. I asked myself, "could it be him?". So I tried to find him so I can sit with him.

Sure enough he asked me when was the last time I was home. I must say, I am really psychic :). I asked him when he was planning to go home. Then, I went in for the million-dollar question. "Do you bring him to the Philippines?". For a second, I thought he was gonna choke, but he recovered quickly and said no. Then we talked about where my high school classmates are now doing their fellowships. One of them happens to be in the city where he did his residency and fellowship. So my second question, "Did you meet him in Ohio or here in Indiana?". First he said, here in Indiana then I guess he relaxed and said they actually met in Ohio. Then later on he asked me where I see myself in 10 years. I said, I should be married with 4 kids :). Then my last question, "Are you guys planning on adopting or something?". He said that they haven't talked much about it. (Ha! Closure at last!) After those three difficult questions, it felt like the conversation flowed much more smoothly. It felt like we've been friends for a long time. He even invited me to do research with him during my fourth year. Sometimes I wonder why most of my guy friends have girlfriends, married, or gay. How come it is hard for me to be friends with single guys? Maybe I am nicer to a guy once I know that there is zero possibility that I would fall for him? I should just be really nice to everybody :).

Mommy ko

I wanted to write something beautiful for my mom today but I think I am at a loss for words... I do want to say that I wish I can be with her in person today. We will hug in silence... She'll tell me again the story of the birth of the most beautiful baby girl ever... I'll tell her how fortunate I am to have her for a mom. We'll both giggle knowing fully well in our hearts that we just can't help but have so much love for each other :).

Happy Mother's Day, Mommy ko!

Approved!

My brother's H1B work visa just got approved! By the second day of filing for the upcoming USCIS fiscal year, there were about 150,000 work petitions already submitted. They can only approve 65,000 so they had to do a random selection. It was the same case for him last year. His petition was not selected so he had to wait another year. I'm glad that it all worked out. It's probably for the best that he is able to settle his affairs with his company in the Philippines before moving here. His start date is October 1st. It would really be nice to have family relatively close by for a change. He would be a traveling computer programmer so we don't know where his assignment will be. But he'll probably be here in Indianapolis for at least a couple of weeks before he starts working. I already told him to learn how to cook ;). I see a lot of sightseeing in our future! :)

In-dis-pen-sa-ble

One time, I was tagging along with my dad and I happen to overhear him talk to some brethren in our congregation. I must have been 10 or 11. My dad used to be a head deacon in the Church. The meeting of the deacons and deaconesses were at the same time as our children's choir practice. It must have been right after that when we went to the chapel caretaker's apartment. They were discussing that there were those who think that they do so much for the congregation that without them the congregation would not be able to go on. My dad said, "Wala namang indispensable sa Iglesia." (Nobody is indispensable inside the Church).

Our head deacon stepped down from his duty recently. I don't really know why and I did not ask. I just hope that a part of him did not think that the congregation cannot go on without him. I suspect that after a time of reflection he would resume his office shortly. Maybe nobody really can do all that he does, but for sure the other brethren will fill in. It was very heartwarming to see last Sunday how the other brethren came together to make sure the place of worship is ready. It was indeed a beautiful sight to see them making the preparations together in unity.

I was just thinking on the way to Church that day that no matter how almost weary I get, I would not quit from my duties. I pray hard for strength. There's a line from a poem, "rest if you must, but don't you quit". I have been late for choir practice assembly or choir drill three times in the last month. The minister had exhorted us that we should always be on time. I thought I was gonna be late again last Sunday, so I was already preparing in my head a request for a vacation. Maybe I do need some rest. But then I was thinking I don't really have an excuse to be late. I am single. I don't have a child to dress. I don't have a husband to cook breakfast for. All the other choir members are wives and mothers. They tell stories how they have to get up early, make sure their family's clothes are prepared, make sure the house is in order before they leave, and they get to the choir practice with time to spare! I think I just have a mutation in the punctuality gene (and the cooking and the cleaning genes..);).

Then as I was rushing to dress into my choir robe, being the clumsy person that I am, I dropped my stuff. But one of the sisters helped me gather my stuff and offered to carry my bag. It's always nice to know that at times that I feel almost weary there's always someone given to help me along. And I go on again cheerfully and faithfully for yet another day :).

Here's a part of a hymn we sang:

Bless my hope that it may never waver,
Bless my faith whatever befalls;
And within Your Church, my precious Savior,
Bless my love to overcome all.

Happy Month of May

May here in the US is not summer but spring. They have a saying that "April showers bring May flowers". My tulips are getting ready to bloom! May is synonymous with Mother's day and graduations. I am writing in my head a special post for my mom on that day. One time I woke up in the middle of the night trying to think of what I would write. I actually ended up crying hehe. I hope that I do get the words down in "paper", right here. I am appreciating my mom more and more as I think more about getting ready for big commitments like marriage and kids. I just need to get over my pesky Boards and I think I would be ready for blind dates, match. com, flirting, speed dating and all that good stuff you all tell me about :). (So, if you know of anyone to set up with me, if I don't get scared, I promise you, I would not say no yet again :)). It was a little bit difficult for me to write that bit of self-advertisement but 35 is just around the corner. I want to put down in paper and say in no uncertain terms that I will get married that year. Am I scaring you? :). I am just afraid that if I don't put it in my "to do" list, I might just forget. You can already surmise my introductory line, "Hi, I'm Myra and I want to get married in 4 years, and oh yeah, I would like to have 4 kids". I hope that you found that hilarious hehe. Probably a good way to scare all the guys away :). I did have a dream one time earlier this year that I got married. The funny thing was there was no rehearsal dinner or reception. The guy didn't know that he was to pay for all that. Apparently, it was a cross-cultural miscommunication :). Also in my dream, the best part, the wedding songs were not sung. I always cry at weddings when we sing the wedding songs. One goes "walk hand in hand with me, God is our destiny...". The other goes " this day has come, I've waited all my life, to stand with you and pledge to you undying love... we two become now one as man and wife, before the sight of God." Very romantic!

I got baptized on May 14, 1988. My mom had two dresses made for me, a red one and a beige one. Of course, I liked the red one better. But I told my mom that I would like to wear the red one during the worship service prior to the baptism and the beige one for the celebration afterwards. I just thought that it was fitting for me to wear the red dress prior to being immersed. Though my "sins are like scarlet", by grace they shall be "white as snow". I probably should have worn a white dress after but I don't look good in white so beige was close enough :).

Here are couple of pics from my MS Biology graduation from Purdue a couple of years ago. It took me 9 years after college to get the degree! Like I always say, better late than never..

Mount Makiling

I was studying a radiology lecture today. It said that the risk of mammography is equivalent among other things to 1/3 minute of mountain climbing. I remembered the first mountain I climbed way back during my senior year in high school. Our biology teachers organized the climb up Peak 2 of Mount Makiling. I went with a handful of schoolmates. I don't think I asked permission from my parents. They probably would not have allowed me to go. I think my parents saw me as very unathletic. During grade school, I pretty much stayed inside and read. My mom was really surprised when I showed her a picture of me my first year of high school almost winning a distance run competition.

So up we went, 3756 feet! I think it took us half a day to climb. We camped overnight at the summit. It was really cold but I was so excited that I could see my breath for the first time. I've always described the mountain as a tropical rainforest. I remember that it was rainy and there was a good variety of flora. But I looked it up today. The proper description seems to be that it is a "dipterocarp forest" and the summit is a "dwarf mossy forest" (whatever that means :)).

Belly Dancing (Queen)

I have always wanted to learn how to belly dance. Love the music... love the costume. My gym where I hardly go to offers classes periodically. So today I went on a mission to try to discover my inner Shakira ;). Unfortunately, it looks like even though my hips don't want to lie, they just don't have the natural ability to shimmy :). But it was a fun workout nonetheless. I might still come back next time. I might even get a belly ring ;). Just kidding!

My Fake Coach Bag

One of my friends love signature bags. I have never really cared for signature stuff since I can't really afford them. She said she was selling Coach bags for a really cheap price. I hate disappointing friends so whenever they sell me stuff it's hard for me to refuse. I figured that it's just a few dollars for the merchandise, I can never repay them back for all their kindness. So I paid $70 for a fake Coach bag. It's a cute bag. Whenever people compliment the bag, I always tell them it's just a knockoff. So it was one of the things the burglars took from my house. I didn't notice right away that it's missing since I'm not really attached to the bag.

So tonight, I was coming home after visiting a classmate's church. I saw Ms. D, a lady of the night who "walks" my street. I've known her since I moved in the neighborhood 3 years ago. I told her that someone broke into my house. She asked me what was taken. I told her that my old camera is gone along with my fake Coach bag. Also, they took my food, 1 CD, 1DVD, 2 bottles of shampoo, 1 bar of soap and 6 rolls of toilet paper. I think this is the final list of all the missing items :). She said that somebody was just selling her a bag. She said that she will go talk to them and try to retrieve my bag. So she came back a few minutes later with the bag. She said she paid them $10. I only had a $20 bill so I gave her that. I'm hoping that that's equivalent to one less man she has to sleep with. She said that she was going to look after my house. She also updated me that the house across which used to house maybe 10 people has been empty since last July. I have been oblivious all this time! The people who rented rooms there just used to sit out on the porch so nobody has ever messed with my house before.

So there are a couple of things I can remember from the speaker at my classmate's church. One is the word "reframing". It's basically turning every situation to a positive situation or looking at things in a positive light. My optimism is off the charts so I do this automatically without too much effort. Now I have a word for it :). Maybe I can use it when I try to remind people that the situation is really not that bad. He also had a Walmart story. He said that his dad lines up in the checkout lanes next to somebody who he thinks needs some cheering up. I think that that is an easy and worthwhile thing for me to do. I like talking to people. I might just try that whenever I am shopping :).

Yesterday, I attended a rock concert with a couple of my friends from school. Both of them were saying that they are dreading our Psychiatry rotation. They said that it would be so boring for them. I told them that it's funny that I just met a doctor who singled out Psychiatry as the area he liked the least. I sheepishly told my friends that I think I will enjoy Psychiatry :). As a matter of fact, Myers-Briggs said that the fields of Psychiatry, Family Medicine and Pediatrics will suit me best. I asked one of them what her Myers-Briggs profile is. I didn't really know her our first semester when we got our results. It was interesting to me that she is also my exact opposite like another friend who could not come last night. They are both ISTJs and I'm an ENFP. I told her that I didn't understand why I got along with them :). But maybe opposites do have affinity for each other. Maybe in friendships the differences are as important as the commonalities. Until here, I'll sign off for now and attempt some studying. Cheers!

Friendships

I am fascinated by friendships. I try to trace the origin of relationships. When and how did people meet? Did they go to the same school? Were they in the same small group? Do they have a common friend? Do they study in the same place? Are they part of the same school organization? I try to analyze why the friendship works. Do they share the same humor? Are they intellectually matched? What interests do they have in common? Which of their qualities complement? What's the gender distribution of their friends? What does it mean if a woman has more friends of the opposite gender? Is she less of a girlie girl (whatever that means :))? What does it mean if a guy has a lot of female friends? Does it mean that he's a flirt? Or is it more like he just has a general caring personality? Can you stay friends with a single ex who you obviously find attractive but just can't imagine spending the rest of your life with? How does it happen that one thinks there is more to the friendship but the other is oblivious? Should you remain friends with somebody who you suspect is attracted to you but you know you could not possibly date? Or the opposite scenario, do you stay friends with somebody you are attracted to, who couldn't care less about you that way? Why do some friendships remain platonic and others progress to something more? How different are people's definition of what a friendship is?

A friend once told me that she didn't have too many women friends at Church while growing up. She was one of 4 sisters, all beautiful and smart. She realized later that part of it is that she was content hanging out with her sisters. She didn't really see the need of branching out to make new friendships. Some people may also have felt intimidated by "the sisters" who seem to have it all. I told her that I never really had any problem finding my group of friends. For the most part, I was the "average" girl, average looks, average smarts, average boy magnetism ;). Nobody really had any reason to envy me. I am pretty much happy with myself so I never really had any reason to envy anybody. Also, since I have lived apart from my family, I learned to get along with most people. Somebody asked me if I get lonesome. My gut answer was I'm used to being alone. A more appropriate answer probably is that I have been blessed with such rich friendships. I may not be with my nuclear family but I have an extensive Church family who genuinely cares for me. Throughout my journeys I have met and kept fascinating friends. They have all helped me to grow, experience new things, hear different perspectives. So to borrow from a sitcom theme song, to all of you, "thank you for being a friend!" :)

Crime Scene

So the inevitable happened today. Somebody broke into my house. I left for school around 9:40 a.m., got home around 6:30 p.m. I saw broken glasses on my front porch and then noticed that the glass on my front window has been smashed. My door was unlocked and I saw drops of blood on the floor. I immediately went outside to talk to some of my neighbors to ask if they have noticed anything but they said they were at work. Funny how before they always ask me if they can do some work for me since they don't have jobs. They asked me if anything was taken. I said I don't think so since there is really nothing to take. I went back into my house. I saw my stethoscope is still here. My doctor's bag with all my diagnostic tools are still here. My digital camera is still here. Obviously, my computer is still here. My passport is still here. My clothes seem to be all here. And to play into the Filipina stereotype, yes all my shoes are still here :).

I did notice that my leftover Taco Bell from last night was eaten. The person must also have been thirsty since my liter of Coke is now half-empty. I also noticed that my 4 bowls of instant noodles which I keep as emergency food are all gone :). Now I feel bad for the person. It seems that he's really hungry. Unfortunately for him, I don't keep food in the house. I don't really go grocery shopping. There's only Chinese leftover in my tiny refrigerator. And the only reason I still had the instant noodles is because I did not like how they tasted.

I have called the police so they should be here shortly. I probably also need to call somebody to have the glass replaced. Maybe it is also prudent to sleep at a friend's house just in case they come back tonight. Today was really not the best time for them to break in. I was planning on an intimate night with my Pharmacology notes. Oh well, what can you do, life often throws you a curved ball. I just always think a new experience is always a good experience :). So don't worry for me. I am just thankful that at least I was not here when it happened. Maybe it is also time for me to reassess my living situation. I hope your day was better than mine. And it looks like I'll keep on blogging. Here I was thinking the next few weeks will be boring but I guess I really do not know what lies ahead. I can think my brains out on what the future will bring but really life as God intended it to be just happens. I do enjoy my journeys and thanks for sharing it with me by reading my blog :).

Oh yeah, I was really touched by a lunch talk I attended today. A guy who used to head the World Food program spoke. He really has such a passion in alleviating world hunger. He commended one doctor from our school who has labored for a successful HIV treatment/community development program in Western Kenya. He described him as being a doctor "for all the right reasons". Sometimes I forget what really called me into medicine. It was really nice to hear inspiring talks like this.