Dear Wanderer

I just got an email from a friend with the above salutation. It's funny 'coz I just started reading The Alchemist. The story starts off with a shepherd boy who dreams of seeing the world. Sounds familiar? ;).

This vacation turned out to be my best vacation ever in so many levels. PB and Bro. Clint picked me up at the San Francisco airport. The next day we went snowboarding in Lake Tahoe. I've passed by the Lake Tahoe area before during my first cross-country trip. It's even more beautiful in the winter. The day after, I worshipped in Redwood City. It was great to see so many familiar faces. Then my friend, Botoul, picked me up from Bro. Clint's house and we headed to Fremont. I also worshipped in Fremont and was surprised to see our former minister in Philadelphia who I did not get along with. Rumor has it that Armando married his sister-in-law. I was pleasantly surprised that I did not have ill feelings for him and his wife. I sincerely hugged them both. I am really thankful that, if it weren't for them, probably, I would have not left Philadelphia. I am in a very happy place in my life right now, so it really all worked out. :) I didn't even care to ask about Armando. I'm sure now that he is not the kind of person I would have wanted to spend the rest of my life with anyway.

My mini-reunion with my college friends was just fabulous. They were just an inspiring bunch of women. Yesterday, Mel, my high school friend picked me up at Botoul's condo. I didn't get a chance to tell Mel that I was heading to the Bay area. It's a good thing though that apparently she subscribes to my blog! :) And although she doesn't leave any comments, she said that she tries to skim through my stories. Thanks, Mel! It was great spending time with you again. After lunch, she dropped me off at Jun's house. The house sits almost at the top of a steep hill. We were afraid that I would trip over on my high heels and fall all the way to the bottom of the hill ;). The view was gorgeous, though. Jun has a daughter now and a son on the way. It seemed just like yesterday when were children ourselves.

Last night, here in Daly City, we had the year-end prayer at Church. They also had a wonderful program afterwards. There are about 1,000 brethren here. It was so nice to be a part of the celebration. The Rosales family, as usual, has been very welcoming. PB will be joining me later here for our New Year's Eve celebration at Ate Tess' house. My flight back is tomorrow. I will be leaving California temporarily. The minute I land in Indiana, I will start bidding my long goodbye. Indiana has been great to me but I have a feeling that it's really not the place for me.

2008 year looks to be an exciting year. The top 8 things I would like to happen next year in somewhat chronological order.

1. Win a fellowship to help pay for my trip to Guatemala

2. Meet Tala and Caroline in an exotic place.

3. Meet with Glenda and Edith in NY or DC

4. Drive cross-country for the second time

5. Do a month-long elective at Stanford

6. Publish my research in Pediatric Radiology

7. Enjoy Guatemala

8. End the year in the Philippines with my family


Happy New Year to all!!!

Netflix

So there we were, four Mount Holyoke women catching up and enjoying a lovely Thai dinner. One Christian, one Muslim, one Buddhist, one atheist. One Filipina, one Afghan, one Vietnamese, one Bulgarian. Some of the Mount Holyoke themes came to mind, "many women, one Mount Holyoke", "uncommon women on common ground". One is a third-year medical student at IU, one has a master's in chemistry from UC Berkeley, one is a Hematology/Oncology fellow at UCLA, one has a PhD in Computer Science from Carnegie Mellon.

Oh yeah, and on the way to the restaurant, we passed by the Netflix headquarters.

so, what do you think of him?

my college friends are funny. they have been trying to set me up with their filipino friend for a while now. i guess, the natural thinking is that i'm interested in filipino guys. i'm not so sure, actually. we've had discussions on pros and cons of dating within and outside your own race. i suppose in the end you choose someone similar to your own background, culture and beliefs. it is probably just so much easier that way. less complicated. but i'll probably take complicated over boring ;).

Benazir

I am here at my Afghan friend's apartment, just finished eating breakfast. I turned on the computer and read the sad news. We were just at a Pakistani restaurant last night. My friend is Muslim and I am Christian. We had a good talk last night about Islam and Christianity.

The Proper Way

I have been a Children's Worship Service Teacher for a little over 15 years now. Almost half of my lifetime! :) In the bigger congregations, there were usually four of us who alternated teaching. Here in Indianapolis, I pretty much teach every week. Lately, I have been given one Sunday off a month. I must admit that I used to be more diligent in my preparation. A lesson is usually based on about 15 verses and I used to look them all up. I would then write out my "lesson plan" which consisted of questions and lesson applications. Sometimes, I wrote out my prayers, too. Here are some of the verses for tomorrow's lesson. The theme of the lesson is the proper way of worshiping God.

Romans 12:1 NIV

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.

Psalm 29:2 NKJV

Give unto the LORD the glory due to His name;
Worship the LORD in the beauty of holiness.

Proverbs 3:7 NIV

Do not be wise in your own eyes;
fear the LORD and shun evil.

Psalms 118:6

The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid.
What can man do to me?


I try to impress upon the children that the assembling of ourselves together is very important. It is our primary duty. God waits for us during the worship service. We had a snowstorm here last Sunday, just in time for our Annual Thanksgiving worship service. I don't think that anyone missed the service. The brethren living outside Indianapolis did not take chances and got hotel rooms in town the night before. I woke up early to shovel and thaw out my car. The roads were icy so I was praying all the way to the place of worship. One family's car spun around but they were kept safe. During the children's worship service, I asked the children to enumerate some of the things that we are thankful for in the past year. One boy stood up and said that he is very thankful that God continues to keep us safe through bad weather. Yep, neither rain nor sleet nor snow can stop us from worshiping :).

Jodie is out

One of my favorite movies is The Silence of the Lambs. It came out my senior year of high school. I've always liked Jodie Foster since then although I can't really say that I liked most of her other movies. What do I think about homosexuality?
Well, I do believe it is a sin. But again, I don't really tell people to their face that they will burn in hell because of their sexual preference. I do have friends who are gay, lesbian, or bisexual. I haven't had the inclination to tell them to renew their ways. If they were my children, that would probably be another story. I would probably start the conversation with something like, "I understand that you are attracted to your own gender, but that doesn't mean that you should act on it."

7 rotation months

under my belt! Woohoo!! Only about 4 1/2 months to go for third year. I still have Psychiatry and the dreaded Surgery block. I anticipate busy times ahead. :)

So for now, a commercial break on my academic life. I leave Monday for San Francisco to meet up with PB. We then head to Lake Tahoe with the Redwood City brethren to ski/snowboard. (I'll try not to break my neck, mom ;)). I have not seen the brethren there since I was at Stanford the summer of 1994! I am also meeting up with a couple of college friends whom I have not seen since graduation. I'm looking forward to having facetime with friends and family. Online communication is very convenient but probably somewhat artificial. Making an effort to reach out in person is probably what counts in the end.

Words of comfort

There are people who are blessed with the ability to provide words of comfort. They calm our anxiousness. They make us believe again in ourselves. They support us. They encourage us. They makes us laugh even though we want to cry. They remind us that God loves us. We hold on dearly to them as we should. We are blessed that they are a part of our lives.

ESP

Sometimes I think I can sense things somehow. Take for example, yesterday, I wrote about goodbyes. And today, sure enough, I found the reason why I had to say goodbye :). Coincidence? I think not ;). Goodbyes are great. It gives you a sense of peace, a sense of closure. I can't wait to finish here. Less than 17 months and counting...

Goodbye

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

--------------------------------

I was studying with a friend tonight and this song came on. I like the melody so I tried to catch the lyrics. Then I realized that this is the song! I turned to my friend and said that this is the perfect theme song for me and the boy she also knows. She laughed and she told me that she was thinking the same thing. We had a heart-to-heart talk about dating 101, american-style, the other night. I agreed with her assessment that he's just not into me. Oh well, it looks like we are heading in different directions, anyway. So it doesn't really matter. Paalam, sinta!

Another one bites the dust

PB just shared with me the wedding photos. Wow! Unbelievable..
For the record, I just want to welcome Abi to our family. Obviously this was not the kind of wedding we would have wanted. But of course, we don't hold any ill feelings since we're just not that kind of family. We're all about unconditional love naman, di ba? :) Congratulations to the bride and groom! See you around this time next year. May you both have time to reflect on faith and what it means to both of you.

wewe's wedding

Wireless Wonder

I thought I needed a DSL installation CD for my laptop to connect to the internet. I ordered the CD the day after Thanksgiving but it never came. My laptop just sat here. It was a bit anticlimactic considering I waited maybe 5 hours in the cold just to purchase it. By the time the store opened, I was practically friends with my linemates :). I now can understand how people can get hurt during a stampede haha.

After getting an earful from a friend about my silly ramblings, I needed to fixate on other things ;). No more silly talk from now on ( well, at least for tonight :)). So I worked on getting my wireless router set up without the CD. Success!

Look ma, no wires! No attachments, but definitely connected! :)

Girl talk

This is just another one of my imaginative boy stories. So if you're sick about hearing them, you can skip to my next post :).

So yesterday, I saw him again down the hallway, twice, as a matter of fact. The first time, I immediately turned left but I was with my attending and he wanted to go straight instead. I waved the first time. I said hello the second time.

I just finished meeting with my research advisor just a few minutes ago. She's leaving for Australia so she wanted to make sure that I am making progress on my research. Since she'll be gone for at least 6 months, I figured I better ask some questions now.

Is he gay?

No, of course not!

Is he still single?

Yes, and he is very lonesome.

He seems nice.

He is very nice that is why I wanted the both of you to meet in the first place. I am hoping that the two of you..

Is it allowed since I am student?

It happens all the time...



He seems to be a really nice person. He does make me smile. He seems to be the kind of guy who'll "baby" me. But when I look at him, I see a typical life in suburban America. I am not really sure that that is what I want. But who really knows what I want? :)

Time is definitely not on my side. Some might say that there is a clock that ticks, ticks, ticks ;). But they say that patience is virtue. I googled "holding pattern love". This quotation came up:

Steadfastness, that is holding on;
patience, that is holding back;
expectancy, that is holding the face up;
obedience, that is holding one’s self in readiness to go or do;
listening, that is holding quiet and still so as to hear.

Good Dream

I was supposed to be studying last night but I was so sleepy after I got home so I did not get around to it. I remember drifting off to sleep sort of composing in my head a post about the "perfect" child. I was going to write about how too often in a children's hospital there can be a lot of grief- mostly grief about the loss of the dream of having a "perfect" child. It must be so devastating to hear that your child will not be the same as the other kids. But today is not a day for sad posts, so I will not think about my kids until I see them again tomorrow.

I just want to record that I had a good dream last night. In my dream, on the cover of the PASUGO, there was a chapel and a medical clinic right next to it. There seemed to be a caption stating that there is a sister who runs this clinic. The place is Santa something, Santa Rosa, maybe? In my dream, I just assumed that it was in California. I remember thinking that I will plan on volunteering there for a month and see how the clinic is run. It's interesting that the clinic seems to be right next to the chapel. Then suddenly I was there at the clinic, with students sitting in a classroom. The clinic looked like a converted school. Anyways, the moment I woke up, I realized that it was just a dream. We don't really have clinics connected to a chapel. But I thought it was an interesting idea..

Courtship Filipino-Style

I have been writing about the people I like with the hopes that I stop liking them. Today, I want to write about someone who annoys me with the hopes that my annoyance goes away.

There is this Filipino saying, "Walang matimtimang birhen sa matiyagang manalangin."
It roughly translates to - if you like a girl, persevere in getting her attention and she will eventually come around. But this girl is definitely annoyed and there is no chance that she will ever come around.

Last night, after devotional prayer, I literally ran to my car so he would not get a chance to talk to me. But he still followed. So annoying! Here's the plan for tonight. If he talks to me, I'll just tell him straight up to please stop because he is totally annoying me. I am not a mean person. I am definitely not a man-hater. I just don't like it when people are too friendly especially if they don't even know me. There is friendly and there is annoying friendly. I know, I know we're supposed to love the brethren. As soon as he stops talking to me and getting into my personal space, maybe then we can be friends :). It looks like I am really destined to be an old maid! ;)

Process of Elimination

Someone once told me that it's possible to "love" more than one person at the same time. I vehemently disagreed. Maybe it is possible to "like" more than one person at the same time. PB tells me that he is attracted to pretty much all of his female friends :). How can that be? He said that he just stays in touch with them and when the time comes that he is ready for a relationship, he'll just pick from amongst them haha. I am probably on the insecure side. I would definitely not like it if the guy has a lot of female friends :).

So hospitals are not good places to "like" somebody :). The hospital is small and you're bound to bump into one another. It looks like that he is the attending physician for his specialty this week. My first day back at this hospital and guess who I bump into on my way out the emergency room? I managed to say hello :). I was a little bit shocked that I didn't even manage to say hi to the fellow he was with. I was on their service earlier in the year so I pretty much know everyone in their department. This morning after pre-rounding, guess who I saw again on the hallway. I instinctively tried to "hide", took a sharp turn and almost hit the wall :). Silly me! I had nowhere else to go so I proceeded down the hallway and said hello. This silliness gotta stop haha. I need to get back on track on the research project we're working on so I probably should suggest that we sit down and discuss the project. No personal discussions, just purely academic ;).

Laundry Mat

I was "on-call" for Neurology tonight. Basically, that means that I have to follow a resident after hours typically from 4 p.m. to 10 p.m. to see new patients. The resident on-call paged me around 5:15 p.m. After seeing 2 patients in about an hour's time, she let us go home. Gotta love Neurology calls :). The first patient was a woman with known epilepsy who just delivered a baby this morning. We suspected pseudoseizures after multiple unsuccessful IV placement attempts. The second patient was a guy ready to be discharged. He was admitted for a stroke workup.

When we walked into his room, his wife was there at the bedside. The resident introduced me and the wife got excited that she knows me. So I was trying to figure out how she knows me. Was she one of my previous patients? Does she work at the neighborhood diner I go too? Maybe she works at Bar-B-Q heaven? I was thinking hard but I just couldn't place her. I figured I'll just ask her when it's time for us to leave. But her husband beat me to it :). He asked her how she knows me. She said that she knows me from the laundry mat. Oh yeah, how can I forget? I just remember seeing her there last week. Her dad is the minister of the church who owns the strip mall at the corner which includes the laundry mat. It's funny how sometimes you don't recognize people when you see them in unexpected places.

I think I have been telling you all that I want to go to Central/South America. My good friend Edith lives in Ecuador but her husband will get reassigned next July so I was waiting to decide which country to go to based on their assignment. Her husband is in Foreign Service. But an opportunity came up through my school so I have made a decision sooner rather than later. I'll be going to Guatemala! It's not until October 2008 but I'm already planning for it :). I just got my new passport yesterday issued by the Chicago consulate ( My 3 previous passports were issued in Manila, New York, and Washington D.C., I have really moved a lot!)

So mom, I don't really have an idea how safe the country is. But can you really imagine any other single gal more adventurous and more adaptable than me? ;). So I think I will be ok. And yes dad, there is a group worship service in Guatemala. I would really love to meet the brethren there. PB, since you're earning a lot of money now, be sure to make the final payments on our house :). (In PB's congregation there's actually a sister who serves as a Spanish translator during the worship service. I'll make it a point to meet her when I visit PB.)

So I think my dream of being able to visit all our places of worship all over the world is slowly but surely becoming a reality. I once dreamed that I'll be a minister's wife and be assigned to all these places. But you know what, I realized that with me being single, I actually have more flexibility in visiting and living in all of these places. Funny how life turns out. I think I may just have conquered one of my final major fears. I used to have a fear of being raped. I got past that. I still pray that it will never happen but you know what, even if it did, I know I will survive that. I used to have a fear that I will not have children. But now I think, I can always adopt. I used to have a fear of being single, especially living and working in a country other than the US and the Philippines. But I've met quite a few remarkable women who make these kind of plans irregardless of their relationship status. And of course, there always have been men who make plans without regard to their marital status. So I am making plans as a single woman. A husband would be nice ;). But obviously not necessarily a prerequisite for my plans to work out. Someone told me once that God doesn't necessarily give everyone a partner in life. Who knows what God has in store for me? I think I'll be happy either way :). A friend was just trying to set me up with his brother today. I just smiled. I have places to go.. ;).

Syncope-Free

About a year ago, I passed out for the first time the day before our Pathology finals. So when I saw the 2nd-year students lining up to take their finals today, it brought a smile to my face. It's been almost a year and I have been syncope-free :). Yay, I made it! It looks like I am in good health and I am really grateful for that.

My past medical history is fairly benign. I've had acne since I was 10. I used to have nosebleeds but I outgrew them. I used to have motion sickness but I outgrew that, too. I had the usual childhood diseases. Vaccinations were optional when I was growing up :). I had measles, mumps, and also chickenpox. I may have had the flu once but I'm not really sure. And let's not forget the parasites: intestinal worms and pinworms haha! Past surgical history: I had an appendectomy when I was 14. I had jaw and chin surgery when I was 23 to correct my bite. No current medications. No supplements although I probably should take some calcium. No known drug allergies.

So, when I passed out last year, it was a bit scary. What if there's something wrong? I didn't go to the doctor then. I figured, I'll go if it happens again within the year. And it looks like, so far, so good :).

I just saw my favorite Path professor on the way over here to the library. He said he "lost" one of the students during the exam. Apparently, the student just went up to him during the exam and said that there is something wrong with her. She was in a state of total confusion and she couldn't even remember his name. He sent her to the ER to get an evaluation and a head CT. The things that preparing for a Path exam can do to you :).