Philanthropy

There is a picture of two brothers who died before their prime. One died while doing humanitarian work during the Rwanda refugee crisis. The other died before fulfilling his dreams of becoming a medical missionary. I remember thinking the first time I passed through that it must be nice for the privileged to have this "luxury" of carving a life fully devoted to service. I would surely be honored to have sons who have hearts like that. For some of us, it seems that just making sure the extended family's basic necessities are met would seem to comprise most of life's work. But maybe at the end of the day, we don't really need as much as we think we need. And there is really plenty of energy and resources left to pursue your passions as long as you are clear who you are trying to honor through your work. Maybe the most challenging part is just defining what gives you joy and where you can be most useful. I think I may be starting to form ideas what my ideal situation would be say 10 years from now. And I must say, the scenario in my head is markedly different from when I saw this picture my first semester of medical school. But first, let me study for my exams so I'll be sure to get there. :)

Mountains Beyond Mountains

For my birthday last week, a friend of mine sent this book by Tracy Kidder. I've been trying to get back to reading so this gift is really well appreciated :). The cover reads: the quest of Dr. Paul Farmer, a man who would cure the world. As I think about what things are truly important to me, this book promises to be really inspiring.

Love is All Around

I need to renew my passport. One requirement is to submit a copy of my birth certificate. As I search through my piles of paper, I came across a poem written by my first boyfriend K circa 1995/1996. As I was reading the poem, this song by Wet Wet Wet came on the radio. This was one of the songs he used to sing to me. It brought me back to bittersweet memories of my first love.

Here's the poem:

a poem to discard
(missing you)

lolling on a
midsummer bench
wet-painted with
sultry sun long overdue
on red brazen carpet
of molten cobblestones
like barefoot embers
where butterflies dance,
dance their dandelion game
of find the coolest gust
a bit of hide-in-shade
while the rulebook
spells only futility
lolling i squint at full bloom faces
colored like the sun,
and worshipper spirits
jumping skywards as
the very smiles perspire
in cloudless searing pastel
hot-drowned stillness,
thinking this was just
what happines meant
last winter.

He said he wrote this poem in downtown Stockholm. So what was the dealbreaker with K?
Early in the relationship he mentioned in passing that he did not really believe in God. It must have not registered in me. After all, how can one not possibly believe in God? Surely I thought, if I invite him to Church, he will eventually believe that there is a God. (His dad who was one of the leaders of the Communist Party of the Philippines is a political exile in Sweden.) He did start attending church but in the end he said that he did not see himself converting into my religion. Flashbacks of my dad's only relationship instruction to me when I left home: never date anybody who is not a member of our Church. I read somewhere that women always look for a lesson learned in a failed relationship. I think what I have learned from this one is that people believe what they believe in. There is no amount of love that can change someone's fundamental beliefs. Of course, you always pray for grace that the other person finds his own truth.

Put Your Records On

I just heard this on the radio. This is my song of the moment.

Put Your Records On
Corinne Bailey Rae

Three little birds, sat on my window.
And they told me I don't need to worry.
Summer came like cinnamon
So sweet,
Little girls double-dutch on the concrete.

Maybe sometimes, we got it wrong,
but it's alright
And nothing seems to change,
and it all will stay the same.
Oh, don't you hesitate.

Girl, put your records on,
tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans,
I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.

Blue as the sky, sombre and lonely,
Sipping tea in the bar by the road side,(just relax, just relax)
Don't you let those other boys fool you,
Gotta love that awful hairdo.

Maybe sometimes, we feel afraid, but it's alright
The more you stay the same, the more they seem to change.
Don't you think it's strange?

Girl, put your records on,
tell me your favourite song
You go ahead,
let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans,
I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You're gonna find yourself somewhere,
somehow.

Just more than I could take,
pity for pity's sake
Some nights kept me awake,
I thought that I was stronger
When you gonna realise,
that you don't even have to try any longer.
Do what you want to.

Girl, put your records on,
tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans,
I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

Girl, put your records on,
tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans,
I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

Oh, You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.